I've been married for almost 10 years. We are parents of a seven year old child and a 10 year old Cavachon dog, and have a 20 year old still at home. So needless to say finding "alone time" is a challenge. Trying to navigate between the time challenge coupled with being worn out and tired, makes just the prospect of "alone time" a mental mountain to try to get over. For example...I'd like to climb that mountain (insert my husband's remark of "yeah that's right, a mountain is a pretty accurate description of me"), because when I get to the top it will be so rewarding. Just the thought of all the prep work that goes into it before you can even get to the mountain is exhausting. However, knowing that "alone time" is a very important part of a successful marriage, you make the effort.
Thinking back to the romantic lead up that used to happen...lunch dates, sweet or sexy texts, flirty hugging or stealing a quick kiss, to the spontaneous drop clothes and go! Now, after putting our seven year old to bed at night, we sit on the couch and look at each other. "Do you want to do 'something' or watch something on the DVR?". Before, it wouldn't even have been a question, because we couldn't wait to get our hands on each other, but now with all that life throws at us...it takes some mental preparation to summon up the energy and effort on both our parts. It isn't because we aren't attracted to each other, it's just life can be so incredibly draining!
When we do get up to the bedroom, we are both so goofy and awkward. Our lead in often starts with some talk about the events of the day. "Did you get toilet paper at the store?" or "I think I pulled a groin muscle at the gym today". You know, the kind of sexy talk that gets those romantic feelings flowing! One time as we were standing in our underwear hugging and kissing, my husband said "I got this new counter cleaner today, it should work on the counters in the kitchen". We both broke into laughter...that is what our "alone time" has come down to, but it works for us. We find the enjoyment in just being with each other and laugh at the mundane things that make our marriage work, like new counter cleaner!
